Day 71

I’m still kind of just ready to come home, but today I woke up very motivated to make the most of my time left. I was just a bundle of energy, gladly feeding the animals, being nice and talkative with Marianna, I worked my butt off before breakfast. I did all sorts of things without being asked, vacuumed the whole living room, it was a good day at work, peeled coffee for the bulk of the afternoon. After work I thought about going to the beach but it was too hot to walk up the driveway so I just lay in the sun here in our patch of backyard. I started writing some letters and got very sentimental and it kind of didn’t fit with the rest of glad to be here day. So me and Jeremiah laid on the bed and I talked about what I missed, why I do miss so much, why is it so important, why am I not the bumbling wanderer I thought I wanted t be. You know we always talk about, us Dallasites, about just leaving, just getting out, just go, am I so pathetic that I want to be back, is that good, am I lame for not wanting to be away forever, am I so naïve and young I’m not yet ready to fly the coop. It brought up a lot of self reflection, just that kind of day really. I sat in the temple for a while with the breeze and the bird sounds and reflected, meditated, hadn’t done that yet, it really is a nice little spot.

I got pictures today of dead bird (Peter). I don’t know if I’ve really talked about him. He is this grey scraggly looking bird with twisted sad little legs. He got sick a while ago and he used to lie on his back and all the guests said he was dead. Marianna hand fed and watered him for months. Since we have been here he manages okay on his own. I still water him and pet him every morning. Its sad because the other bird in the cage, Sherbert, sits above him and he’s always covered in poop and whatnot and gets really dirty because he has a hard time moving to clean himself so Marianna has to wash him in the sink. Once when it was cold and rainy she wrapped him in a washcloth, dry, to keep him all cute and bundled up. I’m going to try and take more pictures around the farm because I see things everyday that I will want to remember, I just need to keep my camera on me. Also today Marianna wanted to mix a little treat in with the dogs’ food. So she put in what she thought was leftover batter from banana bread or something. It was actually rum cake batter that had a lot of rum in it, they were very sleepy later : ) Jeremiah and I watched 60 minutes. I have never watched or been interested in that show until now. It one of those moments in life where “you know you’re getting older and growing up when . . .” you watch 60 minutes by choice. You know also things like, need to take tums after certain foods, are very aware and conscious of your bowels, forget entirely about Saturady morning cartoons, go to bed and wake early, have become aware of several horrifying things about the generation below you throughout the day. Those aren’t the best examples of things that have come up in my life that made me feel old, but you get the gist.

So 60 minutes, was interesting. There is this guy, an actual rocket scientist, who invented this new kind of energy cell called a bloom box. It was pretty fascinating. One of the cells, the size of a brick, could run the average American home for a year, half that brick could run a European home for a year, and a quarter could run one to two homes in India, us silly powers sucking Americans. They also talked about how eight years later ground zero in NYC still hasn’t been rebuilt and it’s a national shame. It’s ridiculous because once they got into the reasons its just politics, egos, power struggles. The guy who has a 99 year lease on the property could barely get through security. There have been so many models, directors, and mayors, its just ridiculous. Yes cost comes into it, but it’s mostly a bunch of bored rich guys playing head trips until they win, which just makes an endless unproductive cycle. I don’t see why it matters so much anyway, oh we got attacked, well welcome to the rest of the world! But oh no we are the impenetrable US, you don’t understand. I am being unpatriotic I guess, but they’re like “respect for the 2,000+ who died”, wait, didn’t like 100,000 Haitians just die? That wasn’t terrorism, but death is death, why does it deserve more attention and gain more honor in 9/11 then a tsunami. None of these people deserved to die and were taken off guard in their normal lives. I don’t know, it just pisses me off to get thinking about this stuff sometimes, that we think we’re so gorram (Firefly!) entitled. Wow didn’t think I had so much to say today. So thanks for reading all my rambling if you did, comments? I do like it when y’all comment so I know someone reads this and its jus nice to communicate and get in touch.