Let me kinda give my little story and first perceptions of menstruation (where did "period" even come from?
My mom is very much the stereotypical girly mommy, loves flowers, always wears make-up, has big boobs and loves babies etc ... now that I list those things and realize I posses only one of those qualities, I feel I'm doing pretty good in life ;-) because face it we all know we end up like our mothers ... moving on, before I met Auntie Flow here were my perceptions ...
*a constant drizzle of bright red blood trickling from god knows where between my legs for a whole week
*several days before and during, filled with crying and outbursts and depression and cravings for chocolate and pickles
* an excruciating pain called cramps that requires copious amounts of pain killers, heating pads, days off work, a valid excuse to not do PE class.
*pads, I had seen pads, big cushy cotton balls that ... umm ... I don't know, I had heard the word tampon, I had seen glimpses of them in dark allies or hiding behind the bag of chips in the shopping cart, but had no idea what that box contained ...
Granted some of these are true to a degree, my image was all very grand and dramatic, extreme and horror-like, if it was so awful how did they hide it so well?
Then when I was 14 I had one period, I just yelled to my mom from the bathroom "I think I started my period, totally cucumber chill, walked with a waddle and insecurity for a few days, changed the panty liner waaayyyy too often.
I didn't have another period until I was 15, first week of highschool. I didn't notice PMS, I just hated how the pads felt like I couldn't move or sit normally, how I couldn't find the right position in my underwear so the menstrual blood would land exactly in the middle, because Ihad no idea where it came from really...
Slowly I became a monthly regular, and slowly I started to notice my ever-expanding bosom got even more sensitive, my lower back hurt, I felt sick to my stomach, sometimes I would cry for no reason, but all to a very small degree, I never felt ill or debilitated by it. So I decided maybe it was time to try a tampon, because these dirty feeling pads were my only major grievance. I tried at home and was extremely tense, and didn't really know where I was aiming, the paper in the box said towards my lower back?
I went to school the next day armed with tampons only, determined I would get this down. I got it in and pulled the applicator out ... but you cant put it in too far right? it'll disappear and get stuck and they'll have to surgically remove it. So I made sure I could at least see a third of it sticking out of me like a turtle head. Felt sort of funny walking, I thought these things were supposed to be comfy. Then I sat down in math class and almost let out a yelp at how uncomfortable and pushing me in all the wrong place this felt ... I squirmed for a good forty minutes and took it out immediately after class, toilet paper for the rest of the day only!
Eventually I figured out the tampon thing, the whole period thing, the whole birth control method that worked for me thing, it maintained my period at a level which was light, short, and virtually PMS free except for the whole lower back pain,
.... fast forward to me ten years later with a UTI because I didn't pee after sex and on antibiotics and a urethra numbing pill that made my pee the color of an oompa loompa.
I started my period the same day I started taking the meds and all I had was those cruddy cardboard tampons, on my period with a UTI, awesome!!! I was at work and in a hurry and kept pushing the tampon in but couldn't get the angle right, but made it eventually. Then of course i had to go poo a few minutes later and felt i should take it out, but it was pretty dry and kinda hurt, then after said poo I put another cardboard applicator in that looked like it had been made by an eight year old with a chain saw and a pile of cardboard ... weird image there ... it was rough ...
A few days after my meds wore off from their numbing and healing of my nether regions I noticed some pain, wait ... wait no ... some intense mother-freaking pain in my downstairs, I couldn't even touch the opening to my vagina without cringing, it hurt when I sat down, and when I did manage to get a fingertip in to see if it was inside too, yup suspicions painfully confirmed ... I knew I had to take the next step, a feeling was a feeling, but now I had to take out ... the hand mirror ... duh dun dun ... I had ample lighting and slowly lowered my compact down, I was horrified, swollen bright red, scratched and irritated looking vaginal opening, it was a nightmare. And then I realized, the tampons, those rough cut hurried tampons, those dry female juice sucking tampons, had done a number on my poor lady bits. For the next few weeks I was hands (and penis and vibrator and tampon and etc ...) free downstairs. In the healing process I leaked a more watery type liquid then your usual discharge throughout the day...
I didn't feel completely healed up until the next period rolled around, I was pads only this time, completely gun shy about the tampons, can't I use strips of cloth? or free bleed? or hadn't I once heard of hippies and new-wave yoga mommas using this menstrual cup thing? I fired up the old laptop and googled "tampon alternatives" ...
I read it all, it was an amazing flood of information, I couldn't believe I had only been presented with expensive bleached cotton choices, although considering the pure lil mama I had it makes sense, the word democrat or homosexual sends spams of fear and distain through her. I felt cheated and dumb, I furtively researched the hell outta menstrual cups and all the brands available, all the message boards. I settled on the Lunette cup in a lovely pale blue color and ordered up!
I told my mom and she acted horrified and scared, defended the old ways and insisted if its new its bad and scary and dangerous (there are no reported cases of Toxic Shock Syndrome with menstrual cups ... or red scraped swollen weeping vages like mine that I could find either...)
When it came time to use my new friend I felt like I needed gloves and scrubs and fancy nasty smelling antibacterial hand soap, this must be a sterile and cleanly operation. I am putting a piece of medical grade silicone in the similar shape and size to a shot glass up my hoo-ha. I folded it down to a small C shape stood in a shoulder width position and went for it, got it in about 3/4 the way and it opened up and naturally scooted in a bit further, text book awesome, much easier then my first few tampon attempts, granted they gave me the experience and familiarity with this sort of thing. I had a minor freak out when the little plastic tab at the bottom went in me too, but realized that must just be its natural settle in point in my body and if I pushed down with my pelvic floor muscles the tab would pop right back out.
That hot summer day I felt so free and comfortable and clean, I rode my bike, went swimming, went number one and number two without a worry in the world.
That evening I pulled on the tab till the base of the cup was coming out, then pinched the bottom to break the seal it had made inside me and pulled it down, such a small amount of menstrual matter, how had I been using such big absorbent uncomfortable things for so small a drop, ridiculous.
And it has pretty much gone on like that for the last 7 months or so. I adore the menstrual cup. I adore that it saves me money ($40 for 5 years!), I adore that it doesn't involve putting chemically cleaned, fiber-shedding, moisture sucking material into my body and pressing up against my cervix. I am glad it doesn't feel like a pad that could at any wrong angle leak and embarrass me or make me feel hot and sticky and smelly. I'm glad I can wear this thing all day because it can safely hold such a large amount of fluid, I love it! I'm never going back. I love my period, it's an integral part of me and my womanhood, its a beautiful natural thing, and my Lunette cup makes me feel like I am respecting and not interfering as much as possible. If I could free bleed and just let it go, wash my sheets and clothes at the end of the week, that'd be awesome, I'm an all natural kinda gal, not really grossed out about bodily fluids and processes ...
for now, I'll raise my menstrual cup in honor of hopefully finding alternatives that respect my body and work best for me, I'll openly tell people about it and offer to show it to them and explain how it works so wonderfully, I know peeps get grossed out but hey at least I'm not running around naked and rolling round in the grass after I bathe in the river ... which is of course the ideal situation :-)
