Day 85

We watched most of the Oscars. The first female director in the eighty-two year history of the awards won, for best director. The sky tinkled just a little, but not enough. I worked my little booty off cleaning rooms. It was very close to the end of the work day and I just needed to vacuum the crow’s nest. So I plug in one vacuum and it doesn’t work, then I try another outlet, still no suction. I knew one vacuum Marianna said was on the fritz so I go haul it back and haul a different one. This one doesn’t work either, I’ve had problems with its on/off switch lately. So I tell Marianna and she reluctantly lets me use hers, I haul that one all the to the crows nest, it doesn’t work. I try the lights, they don’t work. Aha! So then I recall earlier I was making a bed and my little bum knocked over a lamp, there was a spark but it didn’t break, after that I didn’t try to turn it on. So it was me, not the vacuums. I went under the house found the breaker box and sure enough it was off, not on, I had tripped the power. I feel like my whole day was stupid little things like this. Like five seconds after I set down the roll of trash liners I spent five minutes looking for it, it was on a window sill, feel so crazy sometimes.

And now presenting a guest appearance by Jeremiah Mulder:

Hello humble admirers. Today, Reiner and I were in the truck going to a garage sale and he says, “You see that nice house up there. A few years ago this guy shot his wife right in the face. Yeah, she was [crude verb meaning having relations ending in -ing] everyone around here. Yeah, one day he walked into her room while she was sleeping and unloaded his old six-shot revolver up and down her body, shot her 18 times, and no one heard anything! Can you believe that!? Yeah, then he shut the door and left her body in the bed. The neighbors and friends starting asking the guy where she was and he said she had gone to see her sister on the mainland. Then the neighbors started smelling this dead animal smell, but, you know, that’s normal around here. But the smell didn’t go away. And finally after four months they found her corpse rotting in her bed.” He kept talking but I spaced out thinking about the story. When I started to listen again Reiner was telling me all the stages of a decomposing corpse! Then we bought a washer and dryer.